Still pissed that I can’t go to Vietnam to hang out with Trevor and James. Sighhh.

Well at least now I have more money to spend in Australia. ^_^

Woman, if you ever break my bro’s heart, I will break you.

I strongly believe in karma, cuz it has hit me many times. Be careful, lady.. For one day when karma hits you, all this attention that you always love, you will receive none when you need it most. Trust me, I speak from experience.

Having a guy as a best friend has its perks.

No I am not talking about “perks”. Im talking about the fact that guys in general are not clingy, whiny, noisy (even when they’re rowdy, its not annoying), happier, less bitchy, and I have more things in common with them than girls. Like gaming, martial arts, sports.. Even when I go shopping I get more excited going to a sports and outdoor equipment store than stores like H&M and F21.

But. It sucks when suddenly they fall in love and have a gf. As understanding as they are, I still know my boundaries and I try to back away. Even when they say they’re ok with me……… I dont wanna take the risk of being the person to blame, and I dont want my name to appear in quarrels or disagreements between them. Even when I stop contacting them, I still get blamed. Am I that much of a threat??! Sheesh.

And it sucks that my heart got broken right when all of them are falling in love. I practically had no one to turn to. Except Allah.

Always depend on no one but yourself and Allah. These 2 will never disappoint you.

And I dont care about status, age, height, weight, looks or money. I just want someone who will never break my heart and who will guide me down the right path…….

Why am I feeling so emo tonight? Whndowbdnedueheigdiwbfiekwofoefnowmsowhdbdihekrjfoehwudbeidnifkdkwpshwuvsiw.

Good night.

On most days, I may not look like someone who genuinely care for others. But if you think about it, i make a career out of caring for and healing total strangers, and I spend my leave in uncomfortable places just to heal children and make them smile without expecting anything in return. So from there, you can imagine the level of concern, care and love I have for people who are close to me.

You mess with them, you also mess with me.

Was 40mins late for arabic class, no thanks to rush hour traffic. Decided to have dinner alone, bought my first Murakami book prior to that…….. So engrossed in the book until I didnt realise it was past 11pm and the waiter had to kick me out cuz they’re closing!

So 2 weeks of leave is coming to an end. 2 amazing weeks, by which only 1 day was spent at home. 9 hours to be exact. The remaining time was spent on a place, in an amazing airport in South Korea, and in Uzbekistan.

I did not regret making the decision to go on another mission in Tashkent, despite knowing that it would be extremely exhausting. I came back so that I could see my friends again, and that alone made the entire trip worthwhile. What made it more worthwhile was the friends I’ve made during that trip.

Coreen, the wonderful CC for the mission. Oh how I wished all SNMs could be like her. She is an angel, she is so funny, she can ‘click’ with anyone and she cares. She truly, genuinely cares. She knows when to have fun, she scares me when she’s in work-mode but she’s like a mother and a friend when she’s not. I love her so much!

Izzat. He didn’t remember that we were in the same Sunday class years and years ago, but he will, when I find that class photo of ours and show it to him when I get back to SG. He is like a brother from another mother. Funny, witty, and when he’s not annoying the hell out of everyone, he makes me speechless with awe and respect once he starts talking business or religion or any other topic for that matter. And he’s up for anything. Great travelling partner, if we get to go on another mission together, I hope he would be able to extend the trip.

David Twillmann. Oh how much I adore him. He is the happiest person I’ve ever met in my entire life, and his happiness is infectious. He was in Peace Corps and lived in Uzbekistan years ago for that, so he was able to speak their language. Eventhough I didn’t understand, he amazes me with how he is able to communicate and bond with every single human being he comes across. He was up for everything and anything, and he was there when I hit another low point in life. Never again will I allow myself to feel so low again, and it’s all thanks to David. =)

There are the others, Tisha, Laura, Trevor, James, Alan, Ben….. I love them all, and there’s so much about them that I would love to say here but I need to pack my bags cuz my flight back from Perth to sg is in 4 hours. Damn. I am so not ready to go home yet.

And how was Perth? I would say it was one hell of an adventure, every moment I will remember for the rest of my life.

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

So another good friend of mine broke up with his gf cuz she cheated on him.

What’s with people who cheat. Who hurt other people’s feelings. I wanna say they’re horrible people but they’re not. They’re generous and nice and giving and kind but they cheat. Why?

Sighhh.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

This would be so much easier if I didnt miss you and love you so much.

Oh why did I let myself fall so easily?

And despite finding it so hard to live through everyday without you, I am slowly seeing the message that this whole thing brings… If you didnt leave me, I would have never opened my heart fully to Allah.

The pain of losing you is there every single second of every day, but somehow the pain disappears when I pray. When I read my dua and I beg forgiveness from Allah, that numbing pain disappears. And I am thankful for what happened to us, for if it didnt, I would never have discovered and experienced the beauty, peace and calm of Islam.

I miss you, Hairul. Everything about you. I tried and tried and I do not know what to do anymore to salvage our relationship. So I leave our fate to the hands of Allah. If He has already decided our fate that we are meant to be together, InsyaAllah one day we will be.